Girl Falls Into Manhole While Texting, Parents Sue

It’s hard to decide who are the biggest morons in this story: parents or daughter. 15 year-old Alexa Longueira was walking along Victory Boulevard in Staten Island when she fell into an open manhole.

Why didn’t she see it? You’re ahead of me here. She was too intent on tapping out a text message to notice the gaping gap in the sidewalk and just dropped straight on in. Idiotic, yes, but now Alexa’s parents are trying to blame someone else for their daughter’s stupidity while making a little money into the bargain. They’re suing the city.

I’m all for punishing people who walk the streets staring into the tiny screens of their cells. They’re a danger to cyclists, for one, and at the very best they’re an annoyance to normal pedestrians, the kind who actually look where they’re walking. That Alexa’s parents are not doing anything to teach her a lesson but instead are blaming city workers is quite ridiculous.

In this case, though, it appears that the girl isn’t so dumb. Here’s the erudite sentence she gave of the Department of Environmental Protection workmen’s apology after they helped her out of the hole: “They were just, like, ‘I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

And yes, her parents are also witty masters of the English language. The mother, Kim Longueira, speaking to MSNBC: “Oh my God, it was putrid. One of her sneakers is still down there”

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