"I wish I was a bloke sometimes. There are a few things I'd like to try out as a bloke."
Nadine. Kimberley. Sarah. Nicola. The other members of Girls Aloud, in case you've forgotten.
But it's a forgivable slice of amnesia, given that 2008/09 has been all about Cheryl - never mind the bandmates. In the last 12 months, thanks to taking The X Factor by storm, the gorgeous Geordie has become Britain's most wanted star. And it's easy to see why. With her flawless skin, high cheekbones, wafer-thin waist, perfect pins and criminally underexposed cleavage, it's like God himself decided her native Newcastle was looking a bit dowdy, and needed a beacon of angel-like beauty at its centre. Add a dirty laugh and ability to repel Simon Cowell, and it's no wonder that the 25-year-old has usurped even the mighty Keeley Hazell as the UK's sexiest female. She's also been named Britain's Best Dressed Woman by Tatler, won a Brit Award, graced the covers of FHM and Vogue, climbed Kilimanjaro for Comic Relief and claimed the title of Heat's 'most fanciable female'.
And now, she accepts perhaps the ultimate accolade for womankind: the wide-eyed, reverential acclaim of FHM's readership. Such was the enormous surge in votes during the early weeks that, within a fortnight of the polls opening, she had an insurmountable lead. Seriously: at this rate of nationwide domination, it can only be a matter of time before the country converts en masse to a new religion: Cherylanity. We're imagining black and white Toon Army monk habits, and prayers that end in "howay". In fact, there may only be one question left: is she perfect? No, she has a flaw. His name's Ashley. Just say the word, Cheryl. Just say the word.
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